How to Plan a Proposal: 10 Steps to the Perfect Engagement Moment

Engagement season is just around the corner, which means it’s time to talk about one of the most exciting (and nerve-wracking) milestones — planning a proposal. Whether you’re ready to pop the question or subtly forwarding this post to someone who should be, these 10 proposal planning tips will help you create a moment that feels thoughtful, personal, and completely “you.”

Step 1: Make Sure the Timing Is Right When Planning Your Proposal

This one has two meanings. First, have you both actually discussed being ready for marriage? Even if you’ve found “the one,” they may not be ready for that big step just yet. Having an open conversation ensures you’re both on the same page before moving forward.

Second, consider the timing of the proposal itself. Try not to steal the spotlight from someone else’s big moment—like proposing at another wedding or birthday—unless you’re 100% sure they’d love it.

Step 2: Talk to Their Parents (or the People Who Matter Most)

The tradition of “asking for permission” might be old-fashioned, but looping in parents or family members can still mean a lot. Think of it more as asking for their blessing or letting them in on your plans. Plus, they might be the perfect secret allies to help you pull off the surprise!

Step 3: Be Ready With a Ring — Even a Temporary One

If you’d rather wait to pick out the “real” ring together, consider a placeholder ring that can be exchanged later. Most jewelers offer options that aren’t custom and can easily be swapped.

Also, plan where you’ll stash the ring! A bulky box in your pocket can be a dead giveaway—check out TheBoxSocks.com for a sneaky solution.

Step 4: Know Your Audience — Plan a Proposal That Fits Your Partner

Don’t fall into the trap of trying to outdo every viral proposal you’ve seen online. The best proposal fits your partner, not someone else’s Instagram aesthetic.

If they love big, public gestures—go for it! But if they cringe at attention, a quiet, meaningful moment at home or during a private dinner might be perfect.

Not sure what they’d like? Ask! It doesn’t ruin the surprise to get a little intel ahead of time. And if you’d rather not ask directly, recruit one of their friends to do a little detective work.

Step 5: Capture the Moment (Hire a Photographer or DIY It)

Hire a photographer or videographer if you can—it’s a moment you’ll want to relive. If that’s not in the budget, ask a friend to secretly record it or discreetly set up your phone to capture the magic.

And if you’re in or around Michigan, I can’t recommend Brian Weitzel Photography enough! The images in this post are his work, and he does such an incredible (and impressively sneaky) job capturing proposals as they happen.

Step 6: Make Sure They’re Photo-Ready for the Big Moment

If you’re taking photos, make sure there’s a believable reason for your partner to dress up. Hair, makeup, and nails can be a big deal for some people, and you don’t want your partner to feel unprepared for the pictures that will last forever. The holidays are a great time for this—built-in excuses to look nice!

Step 7: Keep Your Proposal Plans a Secret (As Much as Possible)

The fewer people who know, the less chance there is of someone spilling the beans. Choose your confidants wisely—and maybe hold off on telling that one friend who definitely can’t keep a secret.

Even if your partner suspects what’s coming, the moment will still feel magical.

Step 8: Practice What You’ll Say When You Propose

It’s easy to focus on the setup—the location, the decorations, the photographer—but your words matter most. Think through what you want to say ahead of time. It doesn’t have to be a monologue, but try to express what your partner means to you before popping the question.

And yes, practice the logistics too! If you’re getting down on one knee, think through where and how. (Proposing on ice skates? Maybe keep both feet on the ground.)

If someone’s taking pictures, stay down on one knee for a few seconds so they can grab that perfect shot!

Step 9: Plan How You’ll Celebrate After the Proposal

What happens after the “yes” is just as important!

If you’re at home, have champagne ready to pop while you make your calls. If you’re out, tell the restaurant about your plans when you book so they can help make it special. And if you’re involving family and friends, have them waiting at a nearby spot to celebrate with you.

Step 10: Bring in the Pros to Help Plan Your Perfect Proposal

If you’re planning a grand or elaborate setup, consider hiring a planner and florist to help. Professionals can handle the setup, candles, music cues, and all the little details so you can focus on the big moment.

Even if your planner doesn’t advertise proposal packages, most will be thrilled to help make it happen (and can connect you with the perfect vendors).

And there you have it—the 10 steps to a perfect proposal!

Whether you’re popping the question or patiently waiting for it to happen, this is such an exciting time.

When the big moment happens, make sure you’re ready for what comes next with my free guide:

The First Things to Do After Getting Engaged

This guide walks you through what to focus on first (and what can totally wait) so you can start your engagement stress-free and confident.